Blogging Again...

Well, it seems like it's been a while since I wrote anything, so I thought I'd get a little word in while my little Prince is sleeping. He is such a sweet boy. Yesterday, believe it or not, he smiled at me during an entire diaper-changing session. Yes, he did! And these smiles were not "I'm-discovering-what-expressions-my-face-can-make" smiles...I know that it's too soon according to a developmental chart for him to be smiling with any sort of meaning, but I promise you...he looked at me and smiled throughout our time on the diaper changing table! This was a wonderful Mother's Day gift that I'll remember forever on my first Mother's Day. Beautiful smile he has...

Which brings me to mention...how strange it is to be looking at my own lips on his little face! Sometimes I kiss his lips and I think, "I'm kissing my own DNA..." Wow.

Someone who I consider beyond my measure of Christian maturity, ministry and gifting asked me this past week what is God doing in my life. While I'm still somewhat anemic these days, experiencing temporary brain lapses and clumsiness, I stumbled over my answer because I felt this friend must have expected me to say that I've received great words from the Lord during times of deep reflection and intense Bible Study. I did manage to croak out, "I'm taking this spiritual advancement class..." but my answer sounded shallow even in my own ears.

(let me say though that this class I'm taking is amazing...that is not my point).

After I realized I was stumbling over every word, I gave up. I looked at my friend, and looked at Tucker, and gestured my hand in a Vanna-White-sweep as if to say, "THIS is what God is doing in my life these days!"

Yes, I feel like a "cow to the UDDER-most"...(LOL)...YES, I'm tired...YES, I've had moments of crazy tones to my undeserving husband who now I know loves me more than I even LIKE myself...YES I wonder if I have what it takes to bring this little one up in the ways of the Lord...Can I eat sushi yet, or will it get in my breastmilk and harm Tucker???

But...YES...the Lord is using Tucker to teach me about sacrifice. Yes, the Lord is showing me how much He delights in each one of us through the delight I have for Tucker...Yes, I wonder if God the Father watched Jesus like we look at Tucker thinking "He has your nose, he has my lips" and if God said, "Look! That's my graciousness! That's my Word! I wrote that! Look at my Boy love on people! Look at the way He teaches them! That's just how I would have done it..."

Hmmm...I never saw myself becoming a mom. I was content to finally meet my soul mate! It still all seems pretty surreal, and I'm very content to say, "This is what God is doing in my life."

Selah.

Jennifer