One Week Old Today!

This morning, I looked at the clock; it was 6:35 am. I realized that one week ago, in 5 minutes, our little Tucker was lifted out of me! Oh my gosh...emotions flooded me. Do you ever forget a moment like that? Todd and I saw him, and we said, "Oh my gosh...he looks like he's a MONTH old!" He was so wonderfully chubby, creamy and...he looked like a BABY. I think we were expecting a small alien! But he continues to exceed what our thoughts have been...

Last night, his umbilical cord dropped off during a diaper change.

He's only waking up 2 times a night for nursing. One of my girlfriends with 3 kids of her own said, "SHUT UP!!! Two times a night?? My 3-year old is just now sleeping through the night..." Then she quickly reminded herself that she had 2-hour labor for each of her three kids, and having read this blog, she said it was a fair trade for the kind of labor I went through.

LOL!

I totally agree. : )

Today, Grandma and Grandpa Horne are coming for a visit, and we all might venture out to a greenhouse. We are looking forward to their visit!! Grandma and Grandpa Horne were here the day of his birth, and they had some good cuddle time with him. This will be his first outdoor visit to something other than a doctor's visit. I don't think he'll know what to do...no blood tests, no hearing tests, no poking or weighing...NICE.

Kanga & Honeybear are adjusting very well...very well. Kanga, unfortunately, is so blind, I'm not entirely sure he's aware of the continued presence of this new little one. Kanga's pretty laid back, though, and as long as he still gets to keep his pet-bed, gets to go on walkies, gets treats and chow-chows, he should be fine.

HoneyBear has surprised both of us, and as Grandma Horne has predicted, we see that HB is showing signs of being the "Prince's Protector". This is really awesome to see, because HB is our little Diva Girl, and now she's sitting next to his crib, standing on 2 legs to see him, following whoever is holding him...and she's very sweet about it; no aggression at all.

Today, our little desk calendar has the verse from Jeremiah 29:11..."For I know the plans I have for you...plans to prosper and not to harm you; plans to give you a hope and a future."

I remember a bleak time in my life where I couldn't begin to see this promise as applicable to me. And now, I'm overwhelmed with God's graciousness to have plans in mind for my life. I'm excited about what the Lord has done and is doing in Todd's life, and in what the Lord will now do in our life as a family while Todd and I get to watch the Lord move in Tucker.

Blessings, and may you grasp how deep and wide the love of Christ is for you,

Jennifer

Tuckers first photo shoot

So we had our first picture time with Tucker at home last night. Enjoy!

Also, today, Tucker showed how brave he was when he underwent minor surgery. We found out last week that he was tongue-tied and today was his appointment to get that tie clipped. He didn't even flinch!! Todd thinks Tucker was brave cuz he's a BOY and he's Todd's SON...after the events of last week's birthing, Jennifer feels strongly that he get his bravery from HER.

We decided to stop debating : ), and post these photos instead. : )

Love,

US

PS - Jennifer is still wondering how in the heck a kid of hers could be tongue-tied...most McAfee folk (sorry to bust you all out like this) have a problem holding their tongues if the truth be told! : ) Ah, well. God is good!

We are HOME!!!

This will be brief, but today, we brought our little man HOME!! What a beautiful day and a beautiful time to settle into life with Tucker Samuel.

Todd's taking the next 2 weeks off, and we are looking forward to slowly settling back in. I'm on blood pressure meds as well as a few others - have NEVER had high blood pressure before, but with rest, meds, herbs and prayers (not in that order), I hope to be doing well.

We are loving every moment with him. He's an absolute joy, even in his crying moments. I love his little mews and coos! So precious. With this newfound love for our son, it's hard to believe God loves us more than we are capable of loving our own, but He does. This is going to be the greatest journey of our lives: parenthood.

Thanks to all of you - thanks to those of you who have posted comments, called, or stayed in the background until we're getting back on our feet. Thanks to those of you who are making us meals. Our freezer is full right now! Thank you!

We love you, and look forward to slowly re-entering life outside of "Bronson Hotel" (LOL). That's what you feel like after 7 days there. Highly recommend Bronson though for labor and delivery.

Love you!

Jennifer

The Rest of the Story (almost...)

Well, first friends, let me say that I love Todd for protecting my energy reserves. I have missed all of you, and want to see each of you, but I've had to rest and restore myself.

Today's been a quiet day; already I could take another nap.

Because of a great loss of blood on delivery day, and because I often need more iron, I have experienced some anemia and am just - JUST - starting to feel better. I have to take it slowly; got some natural color in my cheeks (not Mary Kay color, LOL...)

Basically, what happened was this:

Sunday night the 19th
We went to triage to receive 'cytotec' to start natural contractions. I had some, and enough of them that they did not give me a 2nd dose, but sent me home. They were confident that this would dilate my cervix by the next day to start inducing labor.

Monday, the 20th
Went in to induce, and found that my cervix was only dilated to 1 cm. So they gave me more cytotec (not sure I"m spelling that right) until evening when I'd dilated all the way (drumroll, please!)....to 2 cm.

Hmm. So they gave me an IV drip of pytocin (the "real" labor-inducing drug) all Monday night to Tuesday.

Tuesday, the 21st
This caused me to dilate all the way to 4 whole cms. So throughout the entire day of Tuesday, they gradually increased by pytocin levels.

They tried to break my water around 3 or 4 pm; can't remember when. But it didn't work. I was greatly discouraged, not to mention TIRED and...TIRED...3 days of contractions with few results was not encouraging.

But...at 6:30 pm, my water finally broke! Yay! And the real hard contractions started!!

By 11:30 pm, though, I was still not dilating any further and the pains were getting worse. The midwives stated that due to my slow dilation process, it would be a long night.

So we decided to go with the epidural because after 3 days of contractions, I was just exhausted. No way could I go through an entire night of hard contractions without assistance. So at 11:30, we did the epidural, and I slept much of the night.

Wednesday, the 22nd
At 5 am, they checked my cervix, and I was STILL dilated at 4 - 5 cms at the most. The midwives and doctors were not encouraged and I was losing hope. HOW would this baby come??

We discussed it, and even though this was THE LAST method of birthing that I wanted, it seemed that the C-section was my only (and last) option. By that point, it was easy to say, "Let's do it."

So they operated at 6:20 am, and Tucker hollered his way into the world at 6:40 am. He was a beautiful, awesome sight, especially after being overdue for 12 days, and a 4-day fight to have him!! More on that later...I'm losing energy right now and need a nap....but, still the rest of the story is this...

In recovery from the C-section, someone noticed at about 7:30 am that my IV with the pytocin in it had plugged up, and so the blood was not being contracted out of my system. My system was filling up with blood clots and I wasn't doing well. So, these last few days have been something of a process between getting the rest of the uterine blood out while rebuilding my blood supply. My blood pressure has been high and swelling has been bad, but I finally got a water pill today and they're watching me closely.

No one can explain the high blood pressure, but I think that the fact that they come in every 2-3 hours to check my blood pressure is what's making my blood pressure high!! Anyway....

I am off to a nap, and I have more to say on all of this, but some of you have been asking "What happened?" and that's the story. God is good. We go home tomorrow!

Love you guys!

Jennifer

Jen needing rest

Hey everyone! So here are the folks in the photos:

Grandma Doris & Aunt Heidi on Tucker's birthday! Aunt Heidi is coming back up for a while sometime and we're all looking forward to that.

"Uncle" Nate Danis, our good friend who came to visit Tucker at Bronson. He and his wife Cara have kept our other "furry" babies this week: Kanga and Honeybear. We'll see them soon. Nate and Cara, you two are a real blessing and we are so thankful for both of you and look forward to sharing Tucker with you as we all "live life together".

The beautiful three in the next photo are siblings: Shelby, Austin & Brittany Kinard. They are like...younger sibs / cousins / ....you know...sometimes there aren't words to describe our relationships with people...but they are dear and special to me (Jennifer). I've known them for over 15 years now, and love them. I am so thankful that we get to share life, too. I'm also thankful to their parents, Rhoda and Kevin Kinard, who shared these three kids with me first. Now we continue to share life with Tucker.

Todd wrote:

Jen is needing some rest from all the visitors so I am asking that people wait off from coming to the hospital. Also so that a phone is not ringing all the time, Please call my cell phone if you would need to get with us. We may be going home Sat or Sun. TBD... Here are just a few of our friends that have met Tucker.

Todd

New Routines

Days before Tucker I would wake up with time in the Word, a walk with the dogs, and a cup of coffee. Flip forward to this morning.

Tucker's screams at 4:30AM of "Where is my mommy, where is my mommy. We laid him on Jen's chest to hear his sigh of relief, "That's my mommy." Shortly after his sigh a new revelation set in to his screams of, "Give me that milk!""Give me that milk"
It has been a blessing to have this time with Tucker getting to know his routines with the nurses assistance. (Praise God for the nursery) It gives Jen and myself just a few extra hours of sleep during the night.

We have been blessed by the many visits from friends and family. A notable one yesterday was our visit with all the grandparents. We look forward to Tucker discovering the great people they are. He is blessed with such great grandparents.

We will be going home Saturday afternoon. Please continue to pray for Jen's healing from the C-section operation. God bless you all

Todd

Jen and Tucker are resting well

We would love to show our little one off to everyone. In the hospital or out. We will be at the hospital until Friday. You may contact us in the hospital by calling 269-567-5338. We are in the North Pavilion at Bronson. If you would wish to visit us after Friday please call us at home 269-342-1409 before you come.

God bless Todd

Tucker is Here (9lb 2 oz, 22inch long)

We had a C-section at 6:40 this morning. Tucker is beautiful. Jen is out of it now and probably will be recovering much of today. We are still not in our room on the 5th floor. Jen had lost some blood and had bloodclots so they are keeping a good eye on her.

I am askin everyone to please wait until Thursday to visit. We will be here for the next three day. And we always welcome visitors once we get home. (Please call first, 269-342-1409)

More blogs to come once we get settled into our room

3am insights

First of all don't believe the times you see on our blog. It is 3:00AM at this time. Second, thank you all of you for your comments. They make us feel like you are all here, but in reality it is great that you are not here since I don't want you looking at my wifes private parts.(This is Todd speaking) LOL



(Back to Jen)

After Todd wrote the last blog (My New Best Friend), Iwas wondering about my own credibility having had said,"Embrace the pain" and then taking the epidural. I was committed to trying my best to go without it in spite of many words of encouragement from others to do it. First, I absolutely HATE needles. Hate'em. I hate pain of any kind, really, which of course is a total contradiction of my desire to want to NOT have the epidural...so complex, so complex, I know!

I'm about to explain in another blog note what lead up to all that, but here were a couple of things the Lord shared with me about me personally...not saying this applies to anyone else, because He's a gentleman and first and foremost speaks to us about ourselves, not other people. The Lord is not a gossip! : ) But...maybe this applies to you, or maybe it will apply to you...anyway, it seems good for me to share it. So here are the insights from the Holy Spirit at 3 am:

1) The Lord was showing me how when I am offered grace or law, I still tend to choose law. I still say, "NO...I can do it!" like a 3-year old trying to prove her autonomy. Now, if anyone's watched a 3-year old trying to prove what they can and can't do...you know that sometimes you're really excited to see them try and succeed, and other times you're thinking, "oh boy...this isn't going to be good..." Right?

It can get ugly, too...you can try to help that little one, and what do they do? They pull their hands away, or swing away from you and yell, "NO!! I do!!"

That's what the Lord is showing me about myself. After years of His grace being present in my life, I still have yet to fully access it. I'm still saying, "No, Jesus...I'm gonna do this!" Why?

What do I have to prove when I'm saved by grace? Why do I still want to 'dot the i' and 'cross the t' to the letter of the Law when I've been given God's abundant and unlimited grace?? I already proved when I accepted Jesus that...that I have nothing left to prove. I have nothing that will stand up to His goodness and His love and His sacrifice. Nothing.

And who in the world am I trying to prove myself to? Jesus? You? People from my past? Probably...and to myself.

I've gotta put a stop to that. 'Cause you know what? Jesus knows what I can and can't do.

You probably know too.

Unless I fooled ya.

Probably didn't... : )

So I'm going to stop fooling myself.

I don't need to "do all that I can do"...I need to "be all that I can BE", and there's a HUGE difference in DOING and BEING. That's an insight for another time period...maybe a 4 am or 5 am insight. : ) Not right now, though. Not without a trip to Waterstreet Coffee Joint!

So, my new expression/reminder for myself is to "take the grace"...or, better yet, "GRACE OUT". Some of us grew up in environments where Perfectionism was on the throne, or People Pleasing...or Fear reigned. But those aren't my kings anymore. I gave Jesus my heart, so I have the privilege of choosing grace over anything else.

2) The other insight that came to me was directly from the Holy Spirit. He said, "Jen...I'm your epidural."

Huh?

"I'm your epidural. I'll cause you pain at first, but I'll give you a song in your heart to endure the trial. I'll walk beside you while you go through it...I'm the one who gives you the hope and strength to go on. I'll help you praise the Lord, get in God's presence, give you 'spiritual anesthesia' for the journey ahead. I'm your epidural."

Huh.

Read my entry from 4/25/09 for the rest of the story on the birth...it's connected to these insights in a profound way.

I'm not saying I'm profound...this whole experience has been beyond me and Tucker. I know the Lord was showing me many things, and continues to show me, through this experience.

Praise the Lord.

Epidural- Jen's new best friend

It is 12:15 and Jen just had a epidural put in (Dr. Stark is the man).

The contractions were hard and heavy around 10:3o and after two days of trying to induce labor it was time to make this happen the most comfortable way possible. She is thinking happy thoughts at this time. Tucker and her are doing fine and it is only a matter of time until we meet Tucker. I praise

God that she is able to sleep at this time. We will get a little sleep before Tucher comes. Thank you all again for your thoughts and prayers.

Not seen but felt

I am happy to report that not more than an hour went by before Jen's water broke on her own. (6;30PM) We now find ourselves in the bathtub, walking the hallways, sitting on a exercise ball, and any position that will bring her comfort during the contractions. The disappointment of earlier is as polar opposite of the joy we felt when the water broke.

It seems strange to pray for pain and want to embrace it in the absence of it... But that is exactly what we did. We think of Jesus and how he embraced the pain of the cross because there was a promised joy put before him. We look forward to the joy of knowing Tucker intimately and sharing him with all of you. Thanks for your prayers and please keep them coming.

Things hoped for but not seen

So they could not break Jen's water at this time. Please continue to Pray for Jen. We continue to hope for in faith Tuckers coming. We are going to quiet our communications a little so we will let everyone know once Tucker gets here.

Todd

Breaking the Water

Well after a busy day, we began to set our sites on preparing for the next few days slowing bringing about the delivery process. That all changed at 3:00 when our midwife decided it was time to speed up the process. So here it is, they plan on breaking Jen's water at 5:00. Please be in prayer that God's hand is on everything. Thank you all so muck --Todd

An Educational Opportunity with a Friend

Today, I had a special treat....well, that depends on how you might look at it. Earlier in the day, I called my young friend Brittany Kinard to see if she wanted to come hang out a bit at the Labor & Delivery Unit. Nothing much was happening with us, and she is interested in nursing. She's currently in a program through her high school, and when she got my message, she thought she would like to come over.

It seems that there was another procedure my midwife recommended, and Brittany arrived just before the midwife (Deb) and nurse (Lauren) came in to propose the procedure. Before long, they invited Brittany into helping them with it, and she was able to observe and assist the midwife insert a balloon-like apparatus into my cervix, then blow it up a bit to help start dilation (we're "just" at 1 cm, barely right now). So...Brittany has now seen parts of me that I never dreamed she would see, but she was very mature and professional about it, and I know she'll make a great nurse someday!

I told her this was her graduation present....that's all she's getting! : )

Our Pastor Keith visited today, too, but um....split before that procedure began. LOL!!! His time before that he spent time encouraging us about timing and waiting on the Lord. We were thankful that he could stop by.

So, no Tucker yet, but it was a special day!

Jennifer

Tuesday...Moving Right Along!

Well, it seems that my cervix is finally cooperating with us. I am now officially dilated!!

So the plan is this: they are going to increase my pytocin levels today to send me into labor. Yipee!

Please pray for Todd today. He didn't get a lot of sleep last night. They'd given me Ambien to put me out in spite of the contractions I was having, and unfortunately, he listened to me talk much of the night about whether or not he had "gotten the ice cream". He says I asked him like 5-6 times WHEN was he going to go out and GET the ice cream? I dont' remember dreaming about ice cream, but right before I went to bed, I downed a nice fat-free frozen yogurt chocolate shake. YUM. Guess my soul was longing for more during the night!

Todd went home after a prayer meeting this morning (thank you brothers for praying with him and for us - especially the word of confirmation we received), and now he's back after a shower. Lord, give Todd strength today. He is the best husband in the world to me, and I will start to cry if I think too much more on what a great daddy he's going to be to Tucker. Todd already started a journal for Tucker yesterday. His first topic to write our son about? WAITING. Waiting on the LORD.

So for you today...what's your soul dreaming about? And what are you waiting on the Lord for? Renew your strength and rise up like an eagle!

Blessings - Jennifer

The image of Tucker

Hey Guys - Todd here.

No baby yet, but we did an ultra sound today and we got to see more clearly what Tucker is going to look like. It is amazing how technology is today. You can almost see specific features of Jen and mine. We think he is adorable but then again we are biased.

Jen's comment: Could you tell we were bored last night and really wanting to meet our little boy?? I guess we started moving into a sicker sense of humor...I sure pray our son doesn't come out with a soul patch!!! However, the "white-boy-afro" would explain all my heartburn!! LOL!! Now you know you should REALLY pray for us!!

Waiting produces patience...and patience, perseverance...

Hey, isn't there a Book with that statement in it?? : )

Yes...we are STILL waiting. We've made some progress, and they are going to slow-drip pytocin by an IV into me all night long, hoping that labor can start tonight, but most likely, will start tomorrow. That's all for now. Thank you all for your prayers and love.

No photo...there aren't any snails in my room!

(Thank you, Rob McAfee for the correction from "slug" to "snail" due to the presence of the shell. My cousin, the PhD, ladies and gentleman!)

The Waiting begins

So we have our room in the hospital, and quite a nice room, but no baby yet. You can see that I'm undaunted by this fact, and am trying to make the best of it.

Here's the scoop: My cervix is playing hard-to-get. Last week, they told me I was dilated at 1 cm, MAYBE...today, my cervix seems to be closed. I don't know why we were "open for business" last week, and now we're not, but maybe my cervix, like many corporations in America today, owe somebody something and I can go for a bailout deal...LOL. That's my only political comment for the day since I'm really not qualified to make any further political comments!

So...the treatment they gave us yesterday (Cytatec - probably misspelled that) did a little bit of good, but when they checked me at 10 this morning, they found that the treatment yesterday didn't do all they'd hoped. So they are doing the treatment again today with hopes to really induce labor either tonight or tomorrow.

For now we are catching up on Hulu.com, playing euchre, and getting rest.

Today is the Day!

We induce labor today!!

Todd rolled over this morning in bed and in a raspy-not-yet-awake voice sang "This is the day, this is the day that the Lord has made, that the Lord has made". NOT my favorite song, but today...today IS a long-awaited day for us. My heart was full of joy that today we'll join the worldwide team of people called parents as we meet Tucker Samuel.

Our desk calendar has Psalms 19:1-2 as its daily Scripture:

"The heavens proclaim the glory of God; the skies display His craftsmanship. Day after day, they continue to speak, night after night they make Him known."

We pray that today, the Lord's glory is proclaimed through Tucker's birth.

I know you're asking, "WHY the slug photo??" Well, I originally uploaded two different photos of my 41.3 weeks-old belly, but...well, it wasn't exactly discreet, even when I made the photo small. SO...on our walk this morning with the dogs (Kanga and HoneyBear, our "furry babies" - shih tzus), it's rained a bit last night, and I normally keep my eyes out for slugs. I forgot it was spring...

For some reason, a few years ago, I noticed in our inner city neighborhood, that there are SLUGS that come out after a rain. I think it's the country girl inside me that loved finding turtles and frogs in the spring time on our little farm. Where we live now seems so far removed from country life, that slugs are what I found, so slugs are what I love. I feel like a little girl again when I see them, and honestly, I think they're pretty awesome!

So we're walking the dogs and I saw two slugs! Todd said, "There's a little gift from Jesus JUST for you, Honey." (Because who else but me would see slugs as a good sign on the day you're gonna be induced into labor?) Plus...slugs and I share a strangely similar (and thankfully, limited) appearance at this time. : ) So, instead of forcing you to see my huge belly complete with stretch marks (which I also hope are a limited appearance in my life), I thought I'd include the story of the slug.

Pretty soon, we'll have a FAR more handsome little guy to photograph and put on this new blog for you. Thank you all for your prayers and thoughts...your calls and wonderings. We're delighted to share this time in our lives with you because each of you have such a firm and significant place in our hearts.

Almost there!

This photo was taken yesterday when we went into Bronson to take a pill that would help my body kick-start some natural contractions. We were told this probably wouldn't get me into labor, but it could, and it would be gentle on my body and on the baby, so, here I am in that lovely blue gown they give you...waiting...

Tucker is coming

We can not wait to meet Tucker. We go to induce labor tomorrow.